I made some recordings

[piesore]

which I posted on the comatorium...no one said anything nice, which I take it means they didn't like it.
So, feel free to rip into them, I would just like feedback on how to improve the songs. I feel they're all pretty different, so it's worth skipping through each one.
They're single track live takes of my guitar, and are meant for a full band, but I think they represent what I want to do enough to be criticized.
www.myspace.com/bfus

and I recorded cathedral and moonlight sonata together, by van halen and beethoven respectively. It's also completely live, and a first take, so there are some mistakes, but it's decent:
www.megaupload.com/?d=35HWX9ZO

[Bradley]

Listen, friend, why do you not post. Don't be expecting me to look at your stuff if ye don't post.
"You only call me when you're feeling depressed, when you're happy I'm so far from your mind, my patience is stretched, my loyalty vexed."

[motherprussia]

bradley, you're still an idiot i see, and piesore is one of the more intelligent and reasonable people i've come across on the internet...

..anyway, the links aren't working for me so i'll try again later, if i don't see you online before then...

(and if you have the new lightning bolt i've been hearing about, that'd be great too)

[Rubberneck]

haha! hell yeah for lightning bolt! piesore, i'll be sure to check out the songs tomorrow when i'm on campus with a decent connection. i have about a dozen songs to upload to my website as soon as i can hit my computer in a manner that will allow it to work properly, so i'd appreciate it if you stop back in the next week and do the same for me.

[soniktruth]

"ride" & "zacks back" are very cool

ride's beginning guitar is very chaotic and disturbing...sonic nightmare in a sense......zacks back's riff is fucking awesome....are you schizophrenic by the way?

[piesore]

I stopped posting here for a while because there was so little traffic here, but I check back every once and a while.
Ride is supposed to just be an intro to a song which hasn't been written yet. It was influenced by lightning bolt, I think you can hear it, if you keep that in mind. The second part, with the sliding harmonics evolved from the suite pee intro by system of a down, it's the same harmonics, but only on two strings and with whammy pedal-ness.
I think the schizo quality is because of the whammy pedal, it makes the notes go crazy.
Zack's Back prelude to the chorus is based off Revolver by RATM, which is why I named it that. If I ever play it with a band, I'd like the tone of the guitar and bass to sound like that, not the fuzzy octave down that you do hear. I only did that because it sounds too thin with just guitar.
Thanks for the feedback, again anything, positive and negative, is really appreciated.

edit: If you're still having trouble listening to them on myspace, I posted the actual download links on the comatorium:
www.thecomatorium.com/board/index.php?showtopic=46401

[Rubberneck]

listening now...and the first thing i have to admit i noticed is that you have melt banana listed on your influences, which makes the music great before i even hear it.

ride: very lightning bolt. now all you need is a band consisting of crazies who can keep up with the progression and this would be ace.

zack's back: this song needs some work, and don't take as an insult in the slightest. the progressions are catchy, however i would really recommend a more drastic rhythmic change somewhere in the song to break the stride. this is definitely a song that is needing some drums and a heavy bass line. a good basis for a song indeed.

i hadn't listened to the other tracks posted before, but sand tan had some nice dynamics, and violet sounds like my bloody valentine went acid tripping and transposed over the top of pink floyd in some bizarre out of body experience. cool stuff.

keep up the work, sounds good. i hope you find some other musicians to aide you on your quest, because i'd be very interested to see where this stuff goes with some more instrumentation.

[piesore]

Oh, to note zack's back, it's not actually a full song. I agree in needs more changes, I have an outro and a bridge in the works, but it was just a few ideas strung together.

[piesore]

Also, melt banana's super bad ass, but so far, they aren't much of an influence. I'm going to learn some of their shit, and hopefully incorporate their dynamic in the upcoming months.
Again, thanks a bunch for the feedback.

[piesore]

I'm bumpin this to yall can bump TO this. YES.

[Castro]

i listened to the first 40secs of sand tan cuz it kept having to re-buffer but from what i heard it sounded pretty cool. i'd say you've definitely got your own signature sound there

[piesore]

Thanks man, you can d/l all the songs from the comatorium link I posted.

[piesore]

I'm going to give this one last bump before I let it die.

[motherprussia]

please find a band please, you have some very good ideas


and thanks for the lightning bolt

[Castro]

piesore said:

which I posted on the comatorium...no one said anything nice, which I take it means they didn't like it.

the coma's full of ignorant pigs

[Rubberneck]

prussia? : ]

[Evycakes]

lightning bolt! .. prussia! omg LOL

[piesore]

castro said:

piesore said:

which I posted on the comatorium...no one said anything nice, which I take it means they didn't like it.

the coma's full of ignorant pigs

I don't mind if they don't like it, I'd just rather they reply than say nothing so I can know what to improve.

[Castro]

bleh. i just hate the coma. i didnt bother to give them loads of shit before i left so i take every opputunity i can to slate them

[Rubberneck]

Marco: "Hey! You throw a pretty mean punch, captain! You must have won your fair share of fights in the day."

Murphey: "Well, actually I was just beaten up a lot in school, so now I like to sucker-punch people whenever I get the chance."

[piesore]

castro said:

bleh. i just hate the coma. i didnt bother to give them loads of shit before i left so i take every opputunity i can to slate them

I understand that, I've just found the people on the coma to be a lot nicer than on inertiatic.

[soniktruth]

piesore said:

castro said:

bleh. i just hate the coma. i didnt bother to give them loads of shit before i left so i take every opputunity i can to slate them

I understand that, I've just found the people on the coma to be a lot nicer than on inertiatic.

its sad these people with fine taste in music find it necessary to be like everyone else in the fucking world...assholes

[Castro]

true....and its usually over something miniscule like a thread being in the wrong place

[Bradley]

I dont know coma or inertiatic

[soniktruth]

bradley said:

I dont know coma or inertiatic

me either...

[piesore]

Thanks for keeping this thread alive kiddies, you've been a lot more supporitive here than anywhere else.

[motherprussia]

haha at the coma, the whole provacateurs forum (where you post all your creative music/writings/artwork, etc) is fuckign ridiculous, it's a bunch of 16 year olds who trip on acid all day and listen to tmv and think cedric is is godly

transplant the extract of Eiolian's distance
from the stalk umbilical eggshells
i'm stepping on the exo-plastic remains
of the neck pinched ear whatever the fuck

if this is poetry, it's dada

yeah, i know i'm maybe still in the top ten in posts there, but shit, man, shit, butts

[piesore]

A lot of it is pretty bad, but I've dug some of the arists on there...there was this spoken word kid from a long time ago who actually was good at mimicking cedric, but he was bad at taking criticism and dissapeared. I don't remember his name either, it's a shame.

[Castro]

motherprussia said:

transplant the extract of Eiolian's distance
from the stalk umbilical eggshells
i'm stepping on the exo-plastic remains
of the neck pinched ear whatever the fuck

what

[piesore]

The poetry section is chock full of nougety goodness like that.